Yeah, it has been quite a while. Lost touch with my work, as it is the summer season and I (finally) got a vacation. In the past two days I have been soaking back into the bath that is motherhood. Scar has returned from her vacation and it’s all potty training and vitamins and gluten-free potato chips as a night-time snack from here. Strict rules of no sugar after 6pm and bedtime before 10pm (though that never actually happens, at least we are in the bed, in the dark before 10pm). School (I wonder which one) starts in a couple of weeks so I have to get on the hard-ass parent band wagon.
I know that sounds not as strict or hard-ass as it can be and some of the moms reading this are laughing at me. But I am a hippie so strict anything is odd and out there for me. I have been on my own life changing journey parallel with Scar’s and I have been teaching myself a few new disciplines as well as focusing on my relationship with the universe and my place in it. Better late than never, right? So, it stands to reason that it is time to get my mom muscles more in tune with parenting a special needs child in 2016. Especially being that autism requires a lot of routine.
Routine was never difficult for me until I became a mom. I mean it was a loose routine but I had one none-the-less. It has been nice to find myself getting back into my list-making, apartment-cleansing, tarot-reading, coffee-drinking skin again. I have to thank a lot of things for that, one of them being Scar herself.
When the dust from her diagnosis settled, I stopped asking myself “how the hell am I going to do this?” and just started doing things. And I would catch myself making a list and say “when did I start doing this again?” And I would feel like a million bucks. A feeling of comfort would wash over me. I would finally feel back at home in my own body. And while I wouldn’t necessarily blame motherhood for losing touch with that, I will say that things kinda get all thrown off course when you first have a tiny human but it bounces back, especially if you work hard and want it back.
So here I am. My house wreaks of incense and my kid has her own tarot deck and I have three different lists and I have five tabs open on my browser and my phone is right beside me and the coffee is on and all my blogs, vlogs, tarot pages, and the like are up and running. AND my resumes are updated and I am beginning to send them out with a new sense of confidence and anything’s possible. I am getting to work. Taking care of business. Being the best mom and human being that I can be and I will never doubt that I am again.