You would be surprised at how busy your life can get sometimes. It just sweeps you up and when you find yourself back on your feet, there is chaos on the level of a Godzilla attack all around you. Oh those dishes aren’t done? We are out of Lysol wipes? Toilet paper? How the hell did I get here? The weird thing about it, too, would be the positive experiences the busy attack leaves in its wake. Wonderful Easter, time with different friends, lots of driving, oh shit, we’re in Brooklyn? I have a book to finish writing? And a street performance? And homework? I would need a year to sleep off the past three weeks.
So of course, you all were neglected. I do apologize. If it is any consolation, this is not a block at all. Material has been swirling through my head, only more of an ADHD scenario. I completed two chapters of my book in one night and suddenly picked it up again after a week and a half with half a chapter. I have written or typed blurbs everywhere and have had a bit of an issue focusing on my two new classes (which are insanely ridiculous when taken together – ahhhhh… to be a Lit major).
I come to you now after midnight, May 9th, as I prepare for yet another busy weekend. The Pittsburgh Fringe Festival is new and exciting here in the city with artists producing, performing, playing or dancing away on the streets and in the venues of Shadyside. I will not only be doing crew, but also performing. Something small and out in the street but an opportunity to be part of something new and exciting nonetheless.
I am sitting here thinking of all the things I did and still do to fulfill myself and bring good things into my life. And I have to say, I am pretty proud of myself. I am taking time to reflect on this because I think it is always important to remind ourselves where we came from, how we got wherever we are (good, bad or in between), and what we still aspire to be. The aspirations should never fade. Morph with time, age, experience, yes, but never fade.
People always say that chasing the art dream or the writing dream or whatever dream you believe in for yourself is a dumb idea. But I always say I would rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. Sure I wasn’t busy in a cubicle somewhere these past three weeks. I was busy taking my daughter to the park, teaching her numbers, writing a book and painting, roller skating and cooking with friends. I wasn’t making a paycheck each time but I was happy with every moment of it.
One day I plan on getting somewhere with this career and making a name for myself for art’s sake, and yes that will probably come with a paycheck. My main concern with that even is that I will make the paychecks so my husband can go for his dreams at his own pace. I want to survive and have us both be happy. Not much material wealth figures into my decisions. Unless it is shoes. All the shoes. In all the shoe stores. But I digress…
I am not in the fast lane kissing ass and I am not parked on the shoulder calling a tow company and giving up completely. When it has felt like the car broke down, I fix the flippin’ car myself. You will find me in the right lane, going no more than five over the posted speed limit, singing silly pop songs with my daughter and thinking of all the things I can create and be part of. I lay my aspirations down into the asphalt and I plan on keeping on this highway to take me wherever it is I find myself succeeding in both creativity and confidence. My kid also gets to be the one in the car with the cool mom.
I am excited about being busy again this weekend. But seriously, if anyone wants to come by and make sure my kitchen stays in one piece (like feeding a cat or getting the mail) please let me know.